growing up...

sometimes i wish one day you could just wake up with a clean slate. i have been doing a bit of self-evaluation lately and i know i dont always make the best decisions and sometimes it comes back and bites me in the ass...but those are the moments that one learns from. there are things in my life which i wish i could take back, but i cant. i can only grow from the mistakes i have made. i am however not sorry for the person i have become. i would like to think that my parents have pushed me in the right direction, and for the most part yes. there are few things that have been learned the hard way and sorry to all of those who happened to be in my way when i had to learn them.

i learned today what heartache feels like. i have lost someone near and dear to my heart. and although i wish this did not have to happen it has. there is no getting around the things that have been said, nor being able to accept them. i have been deeply wounded and my heart hurts. what has happened should be deemed unforgiveable, but im torn between the the right thing to do, and my anger.

i realize that i must be true to myself first and foremost and then take babysteps from there. in the end everything will work itself out because i truly miss my friend.