This One's for Phil...

Random Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

3. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

4. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

5. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

6. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

7. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

8. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

9. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

11. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

12. Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

ahhh and there are so so so so many more.