Are You Teacher Material?

So you were standing on the playground. Every kid in school had been picked for a team except you. Tears welled up in your eyes. Suddently you felt your teacher's hand on your shoulder. "Listen," she said, "when we go back inside, you can pass out the milk cartons." You looked at your teacher with awe and gratitude, and even though she was sixty-five years old, and wore the same dress every day, you thought: I want to be like her when I grow up.

Or, perhaps your desire to teach began when you first noticed the amount of power your teacher wielded in the classroom: How nice it would be to control the lives of others, to decide when people might have a drink of water or a bowel movement.

Then again, you might have decided to become a teacher because you have a deep love for learning, children, and the smell of fresh ditto papers. Whatever the reason, you think you want to be a teacher. But are you truly suited for the profession? Do you have the bladder of a horse? Are you eager to take a poverty vow without the luxury of living rent-free in a convent? how many times a day can you bear to look inside people's mouths for bubble-gum? In other words: Are you teacher material?

1. Do you want to educate young people so you can make the world a better place? And still get off work by 3:30?

2. Do you like school and would you enjoy working with kids who don't?

3. Are you a serious scholar who likes teaching? And monitoring cafeterias?

4. Do you enjoy meeting new people who remind you of yourself when you were an obnoxious kid?

5. Are you a tactful person who can talk to parents about their children's problems? When the children's problems are their parents.

6. Do you want to have a two-month summer vacation so you can do fun things? Like teach summer school!

7. Would you enjoy working with kids who enjoy learning? As long as what they are learning is about Britney Spears?

8. Do you like to eat exotic foods? Such as Bar-B-Que Meat Loaf Squares?

So, if you can answer yes to some of these questions, then maybe you are teacher material!