and a happy valentines day to you mrs. robinson...

so its valentines day....and dangit if i cant give my theory out about valentines day because its in my seester way late valentines card. SHEESH. (yes the postal service and myself dont mesh well apparently...how many of you really knew that stamps were .39 cents now?) you can all put your hands down now. but anyways...

back the the subject....i have a inserted a small valentines diddy for you guys.

some valentines day advice...
don't kiss your hunny
when your nose is runny
you may think its funny
but it's snot.

but for those of you who happen to be single on this glorious day (yes im single too girls) but i will always have a valentine no matter what. Thanks patio!! you rock. that and who needs a valentine when you have a fabulous roomate. but some things that you should remember on a singles valentines day...

1. If youre feeling kinda down...go and get your hair cut and colored...hey it worked for the ash.
2. You can always find your local friend brittany to cheer you up with her witty comments about burrito flavored conversation hearts.
3. contrary to popular belief, (if you are really down) you should forgo the cheesy love films and throw in an action flick. you should convince yourself that the calendar is WRONG. it's not really valentines day its just a regular old day.
4. feeling like white trash this valentines day? you too can buy temporary tatoos and plaster them all over your breasts. Now that's hot.
5. Acts of desparation or reaching out for companionship is excusable. however, mrs. Robinson is NOT. You do not want to join the i make out with minors club.
6. ALWAYS (and i mean always) shave your legs....just in case!!!
7. Just for kicks, park it outside victoria's secret and watch the dirty old men find lingerie for their 22 year old brides or their trailer trash mistresses with tatoos on their boobs.
8. Avoid..and i mean AVOID all thoughts of the near assurance that your parents will in fact do the dirty deed. EWWW.
9. if and only if your parental units tell you about their hot and steamy night, throw in the fact that you had dirty raunchy pig sex with a complete stranger. you will get fabulous looks.
10. IF ALL ELSE FAILS...DRINK CHEAP WINE IN YOUR BED WITH YOUR ROOMATE!!!

happy valentine's day kids.