Penis Envy....Yeah Right

Im just going to have to get straight to the point on this one. So last night I went to help a certain child with a project for school. we ended up spending 10 hours getting this thing ready for presentation. so by the time we get done with said project its only about 1am. so, 1) i didnt want to drive home at 1am, 2) I really didnt want to drive home in the storm, and 3) really why would i when i have my own bed at their house. So as we are getting up from the project area the child is begging his mother if he can sleep in my room with me. and well i dont really care it didnt bother me one iota. so the mom finally caves in and all the sudden i hear this knock on my door.

the child comes in and just crawls into one side of the bed and i get in on the other. and we are lying there in complete silence when all the sudden he peeps up and says, "sara, can i ask you a question." (didnt really give me a choice there did ya buddy) anyways like i always say i have to brace myself for some of these questions and these next few questions that he asked were some doosies.

so i say: Sure ask away
Child: So Sara, What exactly are crabs?
Sara: um like the things that live near the ocean?
Child: um no the other kind of crabs.
Sara: oh, um well its like lice....down there.
Child: Oh ok
Sara: (thinking now....ok crisis adverted)
Child: hey sara?
Sara: yes?
Child: may i ask you another question?
Sara: (oh God)yes???
Child: what is that balloon thing???
Sara: um im not really sure what you are talking about ive never heard of a balloon thing before.
Child: you know that thing that you have to put on before well you know...doing it (and he snickers then)
Sara: OH MY GOD!!! you mean a condom?
Child: yeah yeah thats it!!!
Sara: This is the last time you are sleeping in my bed.

and then he proceeds to ask all about the uses/reasons for a condom. and i of course being the fabulous babysitter that i am, tell him all about them. Awkwardly told but told nevertheless. so, have i told you that i love, I mean really love my job?