Dear Heart. I Met a Boy Today. Prepare to Shatter...

So as gloomy as the title sounds, it's not happening to me. Apparently it is break-up season followed closely by bathing suit season which is almost just as bad. In fact bathing suit season followed by break-up season is a lethal combination.

anyways, to all of those who are breaking up. Congrats. you are no longer wasting your time with some pathetic cracker. You are now just you. It's a scary thought to grasp so bear with me. here are some reasons why breaking up is better than rolling over and dying.

1. you spend half as much money as you did before and youre not dead.
2. you can now think only of yourself and not be dead.
3. You can praise me and my wit and I wont kill you so you wont be dead.

anyways, im sorry to those of you who are going to rough times right now. chin up. theres always tomorrow. and for those of you who say i dont love you and i never have well i hope and pray that someone will come and steal your kidneys and leave you in a tub of ice to die. (p.s. his initials are KJ)

Dont screw with the bond of roomies...or I'll have roger t-bag you. And further more, if Roger is not feeling up to it, then i will have an inmate named bubba blue balls (nice alliteration eh?) to come and strawberry shortcake your mf face. But really, dont screw my roomies or former roomies over for that matter. i love them dearly and will do anything for them.

P.S.S MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW APRIL 5TH! DONT FORGET!